Anxiety

12 more weeks!! There are only 12 more weeks until our little guy is scheduled to arrive, and the anxiety has started to set in MAJORLY.  I have suddenly realized that we have less than 3 months before baby should be here, yet we still have a queen sized bed, dresser and night stand in his room that needs to head back to Julian.  And no, we haven't gotten the FIRST piece of nursery furniture yet. Queue major freak out mode!!!

My parents thankfully gave us a pack-n-play for Christmas, so we at least have somewhere for him to lay down if he does make an early entrance, but I am feeling major pressure to start preparing our house for him.  However, our loving family and my best friend have organized two showers for us, so hopefully that anxiety will cease once we start receiving all the items I so feel like we need, but I'm sure half we don't. I am just so excited to meet my little guy and want to have everything in order for him!!

In other news, I had a pretty hard night last night, talking to my parents about my brother and my nephew, and was just overcome with sadness.  My best friend, aka counselor, told me that those moments will come and go for the rest of my life, and its OK to let it out and be upset, but sometimes it just feels like your chest is caving in on you.  I dreamed about him last night and it was so good to see him and his pretty face.  I just miss him terribly and its just hard sometimes. I know it will never get better, but I'm hoping that things do get easier.   This guy right here is my rock and my strength.