Anxiety

12 more weeks!! There are only 12 more weeks until our little guy is scheduled to arrive, and the anxiety has started to set in MAJORLY.  I have suddenly realized that we have less than 3 months before baby should be here, yet we still have a queen sized bed, dresser and night stand in his room that needs to head back to Julian.  And no, we haven't gotten the FIRST piece of nursery furniture yet. Queue major freak out mode!!!

My parents thankfully gave us a pack-n-play for Christmas, so we at least have somewhere for him to lay down if he does make an early entrance, but I am feeling major pressure to start preparing our house for him.  However, our loving family and my best friend have organized two showers for us, so hopefully that anxiety will cease once we start receiving all the items I so feel like we need, but I'm sure half we don't. I am just so excited to meet my little guy and want to have everything in order for him!!

In other news, I had a pretty hard night last night, talking to my parents about my brother and my nephew, and was just overcome with sadness.  My best friend, aka counselor, told me that those moments will come and go for the rest of my life, and its OK to let it out and be upset, but sometimes it just feels like your chest is caving in on you.  I dreamed about him last night and it was so good to see him and his pretty face.  I just miss him terribly and its just hard sometimes. I know it will never get better, but I'm hoping that things do get easier.   This guy right here is my rock and my strength.

Cleaning my Stovetop

So I have a love, hate relationship with Pinterest right now.  I have requested an invite like 5 or 6 times, from two different email addresses, and even had Abby invite me, yet it has been almost a month and I still don't have my invite! What the hay? Anywho, I still LOVE browsing the posts (even though I can't pin them) and learning more about crafts and DIY items.  One of my personal goals in the next year is to start cleaning more greenly.  By this, I mean using more green, homemade or safe cleaners for everyday cleaning.  The first experiment was one of course found on Pinterest from this website - http://behindthestudio.com/2011/06/15/how-to-clean-your-glass-cooktop/.

Source: behindthestudio.com via Charity on Pinterest

We have the most awful appliances in our house, and knew that coming in, but its not something we are ready to spend the time and money replacing at the moment.  Everything still works perfectly fine, they are just white and dirty and ugly, in my opinion.  Anyways, the stove top has been burnt to a crisp several times (some, yes by my wonderful cooking skills, others before we lived in the house) and I have yet to find a cleaner that could get off the burn marks.  So when I saw this I thought "this looks so easy, I have baking soda at home, I'm giving it a try!" So Friday, I got out a large dish towel, soaked it in warm soapy water, sprinkled on the baking soda, and let it sit for 15 minutes.  After the 15 minutes, I took a peek and it seemed cleaner, so I started scrubbing. It took a little bit more elbow grease than I expected, but the results were the same.  Most, I repeat, most of the burn stains were gone, others I think must be permanently ingrained in the stove because no amount of force was getting those off.

Overall, I would say this was a great success, and I hope to be able to use more green, homemade cleaners in the future!

Oh, and next time I will take some before and after shots (blogging rookie mistake.)

My best friend

Life throws you curve balls, that's for dang sure.  As mentioned in the previous post, my life changed forever on Dec. 23, 2011 when I found out my brother had been killed in a car accident.

Life also puts people in your life for a reason.  Let me tell you about my best friend.

Abby and I, Sept. 2006 - we were so youngggggg!

Abby and I have been friends since I was in the 2nd grade. We were super close when we were little, kinda separated for a few years through the beginning of high school, and then reconnected our last few years in high school through today.  Even though we weren't so close here and there, we have always had this ability to just be comfortable around each other whenever we get together, even if its been months.  The night of my bachelorette party in 2008, Abby's entire world changed.  Her brother was involved in a terrible car accident that night and were woken up by a phone call the next day telling us the news.  I was bewildered.  Abby was devastated.  I had no idea what to do, how to console her, what to say.  So I just rode with my friends to meet her husband, and said goodbye as they drove home to face the fact that their lives would never be the same.  The next week I really couldn't be there for her like I wanted to be, I was moving into my new home, getting married at the end of the week, and trying to make sure everything was in place for the wedding. Wednesday was her brother's funeral.  How crazy that I was attending his funeral where so much sadness and broken hearts filled the air, and then two days later, had to switch gears and be excited about the best day of my life so far; Marrying my best friend.  Abby was my maid of honor, and what a great job she did. I will never forget being so amazed at how strong she was, putting on a happy face and being genuinely happy for me and J, while I knew she must still be hurting inside.

Little did I know, 3.5 years later, I would be going through the exact same thing that she had to go through.  I'll never forget that phone call, being woken up by a strange number.  Trying to silence the phone, wondering why this person wouldn't stop calling, the panic driving to the fire station, knowing something bad must have happened because they wouldn't tell us anything, the look on my parents faces as I walked into the room. I will also never forget my Aunt calling Abby, she and her mom rushing in the car to meet us at our house, and her just being there for me.  We now are bonded more than we ever knew we could be, both losing our brothers in freak car accidents, not understanding why this happened but clinging to all that we had left.  Abby was there the entire week for my family, helping out where she could and just simply being there for us.  I can never repay her for that, and I only hope our friendship continues to grow from here. I love her so much !

here is goes

I've had some pretty life changing events happen in the last 5 months. Let me begin in July of 2011.

First off, I quit my comfy cozy job of 5 years at a small PR firm to change industries and give it a go in the engineering market.  Two weeks later, after worrying and praying and making that oh-so-hard decision to leave, I found out I was one month pregnant. Wowsa, does that put a kink in starting a new job! How in the world can I start a new job in a new industry and then say "surprise, I'll be taking maternity leave in 7 months!" Yeah, not the best entry speech.  So J (my husband of 3 years and side-kick of more than 9 years) and I said "What the heck, just give it the best you got, and then when we are in the clear for a safe pregnancy, we will just let them know and take it one step at a time." In October of 2011 I decided to tell my boss, it went AWESOME and they said we would talk about the maternity plans later on, no worries. So there I was, in a job that was pretty comfortable, not too challenging, boring at some times but not stressful in the least, and thinking maybe I could maintain this after baby, sure! As we prepared for Christmas (and I always get super excited about Christmas because nothing makes me happier than making other people happy with presents), excited about coming home and spending time with family and getting all settled in and ready for Christmas Eve the next day, my world came crashing down.

At 10:30 pm Dec. 23, I learned my brother had been killed in a car accident (I will share the entire story in a later post).  Talk about life putting on the breaks and slowing to a snails pace.  Nothing tragic had ever happened in my family.  I loved life, knew how great it was, was happy but could always find things to complain about, but now life suddenly had a completely new meaning.  Its only been 3 weeks since it happened, but it feels like a lifetime.  In those three weeks, my outlook on life and priorities have completely been rocked to the core, and my appreciation for everyday things increases by the minute.  But the biggest revelation that has come from this event is the fact that I am 100% positive that I want to give being a stay-at-home mom a try. And I mean a full-on no working part time, no day care, no nannies try.  Today I told my new job of 4 months that I was not going to be returning after my maternity leave.  Essentially this means my last day of work will be March 30.  And I've never felt better about a decision in my life.  I truly feel like this is where I am suppose to be and what I am suppose to do.

This blog will be a record of my attempts at changing a lifestyle, at focusing more on our family and less on the world around us. Switching from having the luxuries in life to learning how to be frugal and creative.

And I can't wait to share it with you!